


Till death

by Jimin



Category: B.A.P, K-pop
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-29
Updated: 2013-12-29
Packaged: 2018-01-06 13:45:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1107569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jimin/pseuds/Jimin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>junhong is eleven, he is happy, he is becoming a trainee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Till death

**Author's Note:**

> edit of an older work. sorry, too lazy for caps.

junhong is eleven, he is happy, he is becoming a trainee.

junhong is twelve. he is leaving his hometown, mokpo, and his best friend. he cries when they last see each other. he hugs him tightly and runs off not being able to look him in the eyes and say goodbye. he thinks it's best that way. he promises to himself he'll see him again.

junhong is thirteen and he is doing well as a trainee. he meets bang yongguk, a fellow trainee that looks intimidating and is good at what he does. junhong isn’t sure what he sees in yongguk, but he wants to be like him. sometimes he even wants to be better.

junhong is fourteen, he and yongguk are friends, they live together, they perform together. yongguk talks slow, so junhong fills the gaps between his words with mumbling nonsense. junhong isn’t sure if the shy looks yongguk gives him mean something, so he dismisses them and tries to focus on other things.

junhong is fourteen and a half. yongguk is hovering over him his bed. their chests are almost touching. yongguk is braced on his palms that are spread on both sides of junhong’s head. junhong can hear the latter’s erratic breathing, he can feel it on his lips. yongguk is so close. but he wakes up.

junhong is fifteen. yongguk’s lips feel so natural on his he can’t even imagine how life was before they met. yongguk hovers over him again. his fingers are everywhere, junhong is happy. this time he doesn’t wake up.

junhong is almost sixteen. his fingers are curled into a fist. he’s mad because yongguk is cheating on him. he’s cheating on him with a girl _he_ introduced him to.

junhong is sixteen. he’s running. the air around him is cold, yongguk is long forgotten behind him. he can’t do this anymore. he is scared, he is scared.

junhong is seventeen. he is graduating a year early. he is happy. he feels like this is what he’s supposed to do, where he’s supposed to be. he feels like _home_. he tries to forget yongguk, he tries his best toforget him and move on.

junhong is eighteen. his phone is ringing in the middle of the night. when he answers, nothing but heavy breathing is heard for full five minutes before the other person whispers, _“junhong-ah, it’s yongguk.”_ junhong thinks he might have broken the laws of physics by how fast he pressed the end call button.

junhong is going to be nineteen next month. he is out shopping with his long forgotten friend. in the corner of his eye he sees a familiar face, but when he turns around to look at it, there’s a complete stranger staring at him.

junhong is nineteen, he’s drunk. the whole world is spinning around him. he can’t think properly. there are lips on his neck and hands in his pants. she smells lovely.

junhong is twenty. he’s holding her in his arms, swaying their bodies to the side. her hair tickles his chin and so do her soft fingers that are tracing out invisible patterns on his arms.

junhong is twenty-one. yongguk sends flowers to his address. he returns them with a note, ‘stop trying already. we’re long done.’ the next day a single rose is sent to him, a note attached to it. ‘but i still love you.’

junhong is twenty-two. he finally agrees to meet yongguk after the elder had called him at least a million times. they don’t talk much. yongguk looks like he might pass out. junhong just can’t wait to leave. “i still love you,” yongguk finally says, and it makes junhong so angry he can see red. he storms out muttering “i don't care anymore,” as he runs. yongguk keeps on calling, so junhong changes his number. leaves the city.

junhong is twenty-four. yongguk is sitting right behind him in the restaurant. his eyes are flaming with anger when he sees them. hands are curled into fists when junhong kisses her. junhong can sense him, but he chooses to ignore. they're through.

junhong is twenty-six. he’s on his knees before her. she’s crying, falling down into his arms, a silver ring with a small diamond, now neatly wrapped around her finger. that night yongguk calls again. _“i will kill you,”_ he says before junhong slams the phone into the table. it breaks.

junhong is twenty-nine. he’s going to get married in six hours. he wakes up to a single rose placed on the pillow beside his. there is a note that says ‘i’m sorry, but there’s no other way. i have to have you’, but it slips between the pillows and junhong doesn’t see it. it probably meant something because the moment he steps out into the street there’s a car pushing him back inside. he can hear the cracks but can’t feel them. the only thing he knows is that yongguk’s driving the car and that he has a gun pointed at his head. he pulls the trigger.

junhong is thirty. his wife left him by the all too familiar gravestone. “i haven't got married because of you,” junhong whispers, it's like this every time. “i can't walk anymore because of you.” he doesn't cry. he can't anymore. yongguk had hurt him so much tears no longer mean he's hurt, no longer mean he's broken. “if you loved me that much, why didn't you let me be happy?” there's no answer. there never is.

junhong is eighty-six. he's sitting next to yongguk's grave. he's silent. all he wants is to kill him, kill him one more time. he never forgave him. he knows he never could.

junhong is ninety-two. he stops breathing when he wakes up, a single rose with a note attached to it lies on the pillow next to him. 'i'm sorry' it says in yongguk's handwriting. 'too late,' he thinks before the oxygen mask slips down his chin and he no longer can breathe.  


End file.
